Wednesday, February 23, 2005

celebrity death -- was: hunter's death

이은주 (Lee, Eun-Joo) .....자살

Hunter's death announced on Feb 21st, and Eun-Joo's on 22nd...

how frail the life force really is... sigh.


like hemingway, i was told.
it's been a while since i heard hemingway being mentioned.

can't handle the fact that he can't write anymore?
the pain of inactivity due to the recovering injury too much?

had a rather rigorous debate w/ davem on validity of support for his killing himself.
he had pity and compassion for the poor soul. i, on the other hand, had more remorse and scorn for him.

not everybody w/ loss of father in childhood or unsupportive environment would act out his agressiveness toward others and toward himself in act of violence was my argument.

but what about his pain?
was davem's. he totally sympathize with thompson, and feels for that guy.
was even sad.


suicide is a murder, too, in a way. normally, when the things get tough a notion like this, w/ sense of responsibility prolongs the days in pain until things get better enough to sustain and the suicidal tendency should subside eventually.
sometimes it doesn't.

sometimes the suicide is pitied, sometimes the suicide is scorned, sometimes the suicide is met w/ compassionate understanding.

the philosophical aspect of this killing is depressing, but at the same time lures me with the dark magic, with such delicious attraction.

old and famous dying,
some unfortunate ones meeting death with such denial and wish to live,
and there are those who find living so burdensome that killing oneself was the only way out.

it's not that i don't see how hunter could've done a thing like this. The english word understanding encompasses such a large scope yet not deep enough sometimes. my head clearly sees the case, and my sense of fear clearly understands the bravity he took upon carrying out such an act. This thing called feeling is divided up in many ways, arguing against each grain, each fiber of the argument.
was there really no other way?
was it a disease?
was it a social responsibility?
could a thing like this happen to me?
is it really better off dead?

the thought forks into yet another thought, argument turns into yet another twist of arguments.

since the report of the hunter's death, all of sudden there are too many suicide news chasing me.

perhaps t.s. eliot was wrong, it's not april that's cruel month. perhaps february is yet crueler month.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005

dia installation - automake

read through make and configure output more carefully.

automake is missing, which says aclocal and automake are not found.

works better now!



dia 0.94 installation

for freebsd

fails in make.

went back to the install how-to page, and start downloading bunch of other pkgs. sigh...

downloaded pkgs require other libraries that require downloading and compiling, ..., and so forth.

nothing's simple.

no wonder MSFT is doing well, people are too lazy, careless, and unsmart to follow all these and accurately too.

keep trying